whoohoo!

The day after a good day, with a stupid conversation.

Yesterday was a pretty great day, I didn't go to many of my classes. I know, that's bad, right? I don't think so. It was just one of those days where I needed a break from the mundane, and it was really good to just hang out and have a carefree day. Last night a bunch of us (i.e. Ezra, Matt, Michael, Joel, Andrea, Hannah, Jo, David, and I) went go carting at the "Enchanted Castle", which was pretty lame, but really fun because it was a group of 9 college students going go carting in this small indoor park, and Ezra, the crazy pacific islander, was smashing into other drivers. It was really funny to watch, since we had to split into two groups. Andrea was first, and ended up being last, because she wasn't that great at driving. It was a good time, though. After that, we played some mini golf, during which I was the only person to hit my golf ball into the water hazard. Although this sound bad, I wasn't the worst player. Then we headed to Wheaton and had ice cream at the Seven Dwarfs restaurant, which was pretty good. I gave Nate a call but he was in musical rehearsal until 11:30, so we didn't get to hang out. We drove back to school, and Ezra, Matt, Andrea and I went for a drive to Highland Park to hang out and smoke a cigar. We ended up hanging out there until about 2 am, just talking about stuff. Afterwards, when we got back to Trinity, we prayed together, which was really good. Then I slept until about 12:30 today. I got online, and I had a conversation with Drew, the guy who draws the comics at www.toothpastefordinner.com. It was going well, and he was asking me a lot of questions, and then I asked him a few, and he said "its a bummer answering a bunch of personal questions, I'll see you later." and he signed off. What a lamewad.

Something you definitely need to do.

Hello everyone, here is something that you need to do. get those little fingers moving and type www.youtube.com into your browser, and search for the user: drewtoothpaste. Watch all the videos, and your life will be better. Plain and simple. Drew is hilarious, and probably one of the funniest people alive. Do yourself a favor and go there.

we're off to the races again.

I signed my contract for dp3 next year. I will be leading our floor bible study and be the spiritual leader for the floor. Looks like I have a lot of maturing to do. I know that God's power is made perfect in our own weakness, but a lot of times I think that if I try REALLY hard, and work at it I can become a super Christian, which (by the way), is not really possible. Oh well, it was worth a shot. I guess I am still going to have to rely on God's grace and mercy, and cope with the fact that I screw up way more than I ever want to admit. God is such a curious being, I am always bewildered at his mercy, grace, and forgiveness, and completely amazed that He continues to bless me day in and day out, when many times I don't stop to even give him the time of day. Not that he needs the time, anyway. After all, he DID create it. Not to mention it doesn't really apply to Him, but that is just getting into a whole other confusing topic, so I am going to stick to loving Him in the confusing times, holding onto Him in the tough times, and strive to humble myself before Him and seek His face at ALL times. It's going to be hard, but so worth it. You should give it a try. If you are having a hard time with it, give me a call, I would be glad to pray with you. Not because I could give you advice, but because I am working on pursuing God as well. We're both in this together.

Something I have realized as of late.

I put no effort into my relationships, and I wonder why others don't get a hold of ME?

How selfish of me!

For those I have forgotten, shafted, left waiting, taken advantage of, taken for granted, and used, I am so sorry. It's not you, it's me. I am just thankful you all are so dedicated where I am so selfish. Lord, please forgive me for this sin of selfishness, and friends, please forgive me for not noticing you. I am so grateful for you, don't think otherwise, I have just realized that for some reason I just didn't think that I needed to do anything about it.

Well. I was wrong. Expect a phone call/ email.

a revelation

About a week and a half ago, I was at a winter retreat with the youth group I work at. I am a small group leader for freshman guys, and I was their counselor for the weekend. Needless to say, it was a ton of fun. During the retreat, I had a sort of vision from the LORD concerning my ministry. I have known for about two years that the LORD has called me into youth ministry. I had always thought that this was a call into conventional youth ministry, where I would be a full time youth pastor at a church, and everything would be great. However, at this retreat, God showed me a different vision. He revealed to me that I am to be a part of a non profit, para-church organization, to minister to the outcast kids (skaters, potheads, goths, geeks, etc). I was filled with images of this ministry, and I felt led to do it in the Appleton area. I was blown away, because this was not something I had ever thought of/ planned on. After the retreat, I called Leah and told her about what transpired. She told me that something like that had happened in Appleton already, where a ministry had bought an indoor mall and made a skatepark, paintball area, and concert hall deal. She said that it had lost funding, but while it was going, it was one of the biggest youth movements in the midwest. She knew the founder's daughter, and she said that when it lost funding, he said that he believed this ministry was not done, and that he believed it would start up again. I was excited when she told me this, and began to wonder if this was something I should be involved in. I have been praying about it for a while. Today, we were told that we would have a guest speaker in our foundations of youth ministry class. I got in there, and the speaker introduced himself. His name was Dave Lehman, from Appleton, Wisconsin, and he was the very same founder of that youth movement! He had come to Trinity, and was speaking IN MY CLASS!! The Holy Spirit shook me, and I was completely amazed. I talked with him afterward and explained my story, and he was amazed as well. I gave him my number, and we are hopefully going to be in contact. Praise be to God!

A prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,
Please change me. I know that I have not been as close to you as I should lately. How could I be? I didn't have time for you. I was too busy to be filled with your spirit, I was too interested in other things, I was too selfish. Please forgive me. I know that you have showed me many things, and are preparing me to minister to your people, and I want that more than anything. I'm just not ready. Help me to know you more intimately, to seek you purposely, and to know your will for my life. Break me, Lord. Crack this useless, man made shell that I have created, and mold me into the man you have created me to be.


In Christ's name I pray, Amen.