tired.

I've been having a really crazy, extra difficult week. There has been a lot of work, there have been a lot of late nights, and there have been quite a few discussions with several people about where I am at in life. I've realized lately that I have been unsure about a lot of things:

I've been really unsure about school. I received an email from my aunt discussing the cost of school, and whether or not I can continue at Judson. If that's true, I don't know where I would go, or what I would do. It's frustrating.

I've been really unsure about music, and how I'm supposed to be using it for the Lord. I love to play, I love to sing, I can write music, I can play other people's music, I can lead worship, I can be in my own band, I could even write my own music. But none of that is really working right now, and it's frustrating.

I've been unsure about my faith, and I believe that this is the real root of the problem. Not because I think that I'm about to deny my faith, or anything to that extreme, but I've just been discouraged. I haven't been in the Word, my prayer life is somewhat non existent, but I think that even though I ignore God, I should still be feeling good. That makes no sense at all. I can do nothing apart from Him. That includes my relationship with Grace, school, Starbucks, my family, art, music, everything. If I'm not giving Jesus the time of day, I'm going to be pretty jacked up. I've found this out rather quickly.

Regardless, it's now the weekend. I have a ton of work to do, but it's the weekend. I can (maybe) sleep in tomorrow morning, but I work tonight and tomorrow night, after a two week period of not working at Starbucks at all. I hope I don't suck too much, and I hope that everything goes well with that.

I have a design project to finish, along with a three point perspective drawing to do for Prof. Cory. I also have to get on it and start reading for my history of art class as well as Archetypes of Western lit.

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oh, school.